There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
