i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
