So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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