oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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