Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
