he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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