I only kidnapped one of them. chill
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
