so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
