apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will be naked everywhere
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
