bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize