Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
