pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
