dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
