is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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