just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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