well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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