And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
