We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
