That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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