i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i think we sleep fucked last night...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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