i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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