I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize