Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize