I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
