Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
