Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
