Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
