Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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