she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well you can't waste a boner
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
cat food counts as protein by the way
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
