That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
