Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
