Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
