she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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