i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
