We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
