Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
