Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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