I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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