Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
