Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
