I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
