so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
