Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize