soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
