Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
