His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
