Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
