Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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