omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
