i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
