.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm having to shit out rocks
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
