Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
