my room smells like sperm. sweet.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
