Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
