i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
