She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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