well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can you bring me the toilet please
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
