So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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