Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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