filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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