I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize