I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
