So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
