Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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