I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
