my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
