He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize