dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
