he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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