he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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