she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
