dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
